Bariatric Burdens…

ball and chainSo let’s start this off with a confession. I am, along with my mother, going to have bariatric surgery. For those of you who don’t know, bariatric surgery is a surgical procedure used to control how you eat. There are different types but my mom and I are having the gastric bypass.

From the beginning I was fully against this. I actually was angry at all of my fat role models who had chosen this path. I felt betrayed. How could they preach to me about loving being a fat girl and then opting out via surgery to no longer be a fat girl. I felt as if they were just perpetuating a lie as long as they had an audience. This thought alone made me want to run to the hills when my mom even mentioned it. I honestly thought that you couldn’t call yourself #bodypositive if this was a path you chose to follow. To alter your body this extreme for the sake of losing weight.

Needless to say, I was very judgmental and honestly stil am judgmental as I start this journey. This actually is my second-ish first attempt, as I only needed one more weigh-in and a visit with a psychologist in order to have the surgery. I opted out and continued living. I pretty much rebelled against the whole idea and continued living. I however am one of those types who are extremely protective of their parents, so as I rebelled I couldn’t help but notice my mother’s drive to go through with it. She’s actually having the surgery next month, May 2017. So a strong piece of me starting pushing to support her by doing the same.

I however am still extremely critical of the whole concept. I still have a major attitude with any and all staff who smile and say, “you’re going to love the new you.” I love the me now. Yet I am still moving forward with this. Is it really to support my mom? I have gotten bigger but still this bothers me. My mom spoke with the psychologist already, and I was thinking they were going to ensure that you are comfortable with this decision but she said they only want to make sure you’re not a druggie…

So who the fuck do I talk to about this? This blog.  Writing it out.  All of my beautiful plus size role models have lost a LOT of weight…and honestly there is nothing wrong with that. Body positive ideals have no weight minimum or maximum. It’s your body no matter what you choose to do with it, it’s your choice. Love the skin you’re in either way. I say this because I am and forever will be the Kocky Fat Bitch because she made me who I am today.

I’ll use her and this blog to detail my journey and my story for future fat girls out there. Whether they choose to go this route or not. There are numerous other ways to achieve a healthy lifestyle and fat DOES NOT equal unhealthy. Don’t ever believe that bullshit. Now I myself gained like an extra 20lbs for no damn reason…well fast food but that’s not the poing, so I am going to gone take this easy hard road. I do not want to breach 500 lbs and honestly should not at all be that heavy. I am not getting any younger so this is my journey. It is definitely a forced lifestyle change.

I will keep you posted and probably will post pictures on a separate blog (WTF Day 1 etc).

March 14, 2017      Weigh-in: 468 lbs




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